Back again

It's been almost a month since I left a word here. And a long month it has been. A lot of things has happened in this past month. The most impactful would be granny's departure.

She left us on Wednesday, the 10th of September early in the morning. I can clearly recall I was only through to my second day of in-camp-training (ICT). Mom called me and was sobbing heavily at 7 in the morning. Immediately I knew what happened before she could speak. Ah ma's departure was not unexpected. The doctor had said that she would leave us anytime within the month of September. Still the news hit like an anvil to the forehead.

I immediately went to see the officer commanding (OC) of my company to request for time off. How long I'd get I didn't really care nor requested. I just wanted to see my beloved granny for the last time. Made a couple of calls to both my brothers. Leslie was unemployed and fortunately he was there to handle all the matters that Mom probably can't. Jermaine was in camp too. He had already informed his superior and would be able to leave as soon as he finished his duties as conducting officer for his company's ippt. Elder bro assured me that everything's under control and told me not to worry.

Its a scary thought to have someone so close depart when one is stuck in one of the slowest organisation ever. My request was being brought up to the commanding officer of my battalion. During that time I attended a lecture and was constantly checking my phone for any updates from the family. Just before lunch OC told me that I will only be able to leave after completing the commanders' recce for the section live firing exercise which will only end about 4 in the afternoon. I would only be given time off till the next day and would require to be back in camp by 0930 hours. The rationale given? The organisation does not recognise grandparents as 'immediate' family members. There was no need to accord me the standard 3 day compassionate leave as stated in standard orperational procedures. The time off was purely a privilege then. GREAT.

I wasn't surprised at all. Sadly the organisation has a long way to go in becoming a more humane organisation. As as instructor for two years, I have seen many cases whereby my recruits have lost close relatives (but not 'immediate') during the time of service. As much as myself or other officers in the company would like to help them, it is sadly the rules and guidelines that we are bounded by that are limiting what we could give.

Anyway by the time I was home at about 5pm, granny was already in a pearly white box with the funeral parlour already set up an adjacent block. Therein lies one of the woman I admired and respected most. The one who looked after me for 23 years. And I didn't even have the chance to see her one last time, to hold her hand, to tell her how much I love her. It's just too painful knowing that. She was the person that held the family together from the very start. Mom was inconsolable. And so was elder bro. Jermaine was out with dad to buy the necessary things needed. I went up and quickly changed before coming down to help out with the setting up.

By then my two closest cousins were already there. It was really a blessing that both of them could take leave all the way through the week till ah ma's sending off on Sunday. They moved into my room, since I would be staying in camp anyway. Jermaine has to report back to camp tomorrow morning as well, but he would be able to book out every night so as to help out through the week. We drew up a roster for duties and it's genrally agreed that the older folks would stay around during the day and the rest of us will take over at night. I volunteered to stay the first night, as it was the only night I could stay to help look after the place (other than Staurday night which I'm already out by default).

Incidentally, over the past nights of the wake, there were a few cats that kept coming near to ah ma's coffin. My family has never been a stickler for traditions, as most of us are christians (ah ma included), however, my aunt has specifically warned that no cats should be near the resting place of ah ma (some tradition of beliefs prehaps?). So elder bro chased it away the few times that it came over that night. I merely smile whenever I see a cat approaching, and won't really bother, I mean WILL half-heartedly try to shoo it off. Ah ma had always loved cats. Maybe they love her just as much too? Hahaha. I will fondly remember the many afternoons I spent accompanying her to feed the cats downstairs with whatever she could get her hands on (they are mostly scrap food from the leftovers after meals).

It was a trying time for the family and I would like to thank those who have somehow someway made things better for my family and I throughout this period. You know who you are. =) We will treasure the effort and thoughts that you have left with us, especially those who dropped by. A special thanks must be mentioned to Nightstar, who was my physical tower of strength during this tough time. If not for my cousins and her, I reckon things would not have been as smooth as they were.

Almost a month on, things have pretty much settled down. I managed to hand up all the projects due on time, I had a great first year ICT, I didn't miss as much crucial lessons as I thought I would, Liverpool won Man U for the first time in donkey years, I got Jing Ru's latest album, I've already copied back 3 weeks worth of notes that I missed from lessons, and I'm ending my classes already before exams later on this month, so things are much on track. Many thanks also to the SIM buddies for holding the fort throughout my absence from project work and also for helping me to get back on the academic track swiftly after my ICT.

There are lots more to share, plenty to say, but I'll end here abruptly for now. I'll be back soon, but first, I need to be a no-lifer, probably till mid November. MUG MUG MUG. Haiz. Take care all you folks out there!